Is Your Book Your Baby?

I haven't written a book. Neither have I had a child. So I'm in the perfect position to comment on this weird condition that KJ Charles brought to my attention via this rather wonderful blog post - https://kjcharleswriter.wordpress.com/2015/03/04/my-book-is-my-baby-now-pass-me-the-wet-wipes/


But my take on this is, well, rather different.
If you think you may be heading down that slippery-slope towards the whole book/child confusion then here is a handy checklist for you.

Things to watch out for:
1. Do you talk about your book a lot? I mean like incessantly, to the point that you don't talk about anything else?
Well that isn't annoying. Maybe you'd like to talk about something else? No? Oh dear, maybe your book really is your baby.

2. Do you carry around a picture of your book cover?
Is it tucked away on your phone? Or, even worse, is it the wallpaper on your phone?
Really? Maybe you'd like to expand your horizons  just a little? You know they say that you need to pay attention to what's going on around you to be able to write well. Just noting that.

3. Do you sneak around on the internet to check that others aren't being horrible about your book?
Are people saying rude things about your book's photos? Or about how your book doesn't play well with others? Or other stupid shit that ultimately doesn't matter? You need to back the hell away from Goodreads. It's not going to help you write better next time. You do want to write another book, right?

4. Have you ever told the bookless 'You don't understand'? Come on now, be honest. Maybe you've just thought it but not said it?
There are two real problems with this - firstly you're assuming that everyone else in the world has no empathy, and secondly you're showing that 'book brain' has settled in for sure and you're no longer capable of holding an adult conversation.

5. Do you push your book around in a pram? If you do this then you seriously need help.


If you catch yourself doing any of the above then seek help immediately. Maybe write another book, that'll transfer all the love, attention and crazy onto something new.